Thursday, January 12, 2017

The Dear Seamus Letter - Seamus and Owen

Owen skirts the outside of the ice starting by the practice area, moving past their house and going along the shore line. He eventually sees a glimmer of auburn hair and follows it like a beacon. Seamus's back is to him and he's really hoping this goes well "Shay..." he calls out as he approaches "Knock Knock..." He tries starting with a joke to open things up. He stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets as she walks a bit closer.

Seamus had done everything he was supposed to do after he found the envelope in the crack of his locker at school and read it. He went to class. Lunch. Breaks. Finally hockey practice. He'd gotten in trouble in less than an hour for body checking ... twice. He just didn't care. After practice, he went to the back of the Community center, where he sometimes skated just for fun. Now he just sat. His skates were on one side of him, his shoes on the other and his socks on his feet between. He was reading the letter again. Stunned. Then comes Owens voice and he tries to reply. "Whose there?" but his voice cracks. Not with the final vestiges of puberty, but emotion.

Owen gets closer and sees the state Seamus is in and says very gently "Banana.....holy shit Shay..." He sits down beside him "What's going on?" He looks genuinely worried.

Seamus sighs deeply, as if he doesn't want to talk about it. And he doesn't. He moves his wrist so Owen can see and take the letter if her wants. It reads;

Dear Seamus,

By the time you read this, I will be in Toronto. I meant to tell you before but it just never felt like the right time. I had a lit of fun with you, but being on the other side of the country, I think we should break up.


Owen reads the note twice "Sam...Sam Coffee? Wait...she's like 15?! You guys went out? I thought you were hanging out with....oh damn Shay. I'm sorry. This sucks. Did you get this on Saturday? Or Friday? Why did you ditch on our game?"

Seamus sighs yet again and clears his throat gruffly. "Sam Pillson .. the male Sam. We're friends but I was WITH Sam Coffee." he begins to put on his shoes. "I got it TODAY. It was jammed in my locker. She either left it there Friday after I left or early this morning." he snorts. "I ditched you to see HER ... and Dad caught us." he rolls his eyes.

Owen nods along sympathetically and then looks confused "Why would Dad be pissed at you for going to meet a girl? That doesn't sound like him...." From what he knows of Seamus he figures they were talking or at the most holding hands. He can't imagine Seamus even kissing a girl but he's sure this puppy love stuff can be pretty heart wrenching too so he's not going to lessen it for him.

Seamus snorts. "Because he caught me screwing her up against a tree in those woods behind the Town Hall...." he replies. "So he saw ... well the end of it. Vincent did too. And Dad had a FIT! What the hell. Was he like that with you? When he found out you were having sex?" he is just assuming and as soon as the words are out of his mouth he thinks ... maybe Dad hasn't caught him for a reason.

Owen's jaw practically falls off his face and he just stares at Seamus for a full minute before any sound can come out of his mouth. Finally after a long double blinks he says "No...because I haven't ever had nothing to catch. When did YOU start?" He still looks just shocked.

Seamus shrugs, his thoughts confirmed. "Oh ..... a couple months ago. When I met Sam. She was my first." he swallows hard. "I loved her." he takes the note back and looks at it again. "No love no warning no nothing." he crumples it up. "Bitch used me." he growls.

Owen winces and nods, looking down "Did she say she loved you back?" He was reeling a bit at how much more Seamus had experienced than he had. He had no desire to rush things to this level himself but it was still very strange to him.

Seamus shrugs and aims for the garbage can. He makes the shot and the letter is in. "No, but I never told her either. So ... that's that. We met at hockey practice. The next week it was kissing and then ... sex." he shrugs. "She taught me oral sex. I mean I saw it on the internet but ... I actually did it to her."

Owen starts chuckling and exhales "Dude we're on different planets with this stuff." He grins awkwardly "I think I might have figured out French kissing on New Years Eve....still not sure if I do that right.....but L hasn't run away screaming....and well L is French so that's a thing right?" He jokes "So was it just physical or did you guys have a friendship first or also? I hate to be Mom but.....I don't think I'd want to just do stuff with someone....."

Seamus snorts a little. "I just sort of figured ... but yea .. you're so awkward with girls ... and .. um ... L." he still doesn't quite get that whole dynamic. "I guess it was physical." he admits with a sigh. "I mean I loved being with her but ... maybe love was the wrong word." he grins a little when he says he doesn't want to be their mom. "Well good, cause she's REALLY pissed at me." he snorts. Mom's precious boy becoming a man, and all that shit.'

Owen just sighs "I don't know what to say. I feel bad your feelings got hurt. Mom and Dad are going to freak out when we do stuff they don't expect. I mean Dad gave Fiona a super hard time about dating Vincent. I'm friends with the guy...I don't even think they're doing it....I mean they might be ...I dunno...but they're not obvious about it. But the way Dad talked....I think when you have kids you just have to go a little nuts. The good news is, Dad got over it so Mom will too....Did you say Vincent saw you and Sam too?"

Seamus shrugs. "As long as it isn't 'your only 13', which is all anyone seems to be ABLE to say. And yea, I remember how Dad treated Vincent ... but hell .. he could get Fi pregnant." he blows out a breath. "I don't think they're doing it either. Who knows. He's almost fifteen and she's almost sixteen so .. why not? At least THEY have love, right?" he snorts. "I wouldn't count on Mom getting over it anytime soon and yes ... Vincent saw me bare assed in the woods. Maybe I scared him into the priesthood."

Owen sort of laughs now "I joked about convincing you to moon him when he showed me he could see the back of our house from his apartment but I didn't think it would come true. Shit Shay....and you could get someone pregnant too so be careful. I'm sorry I know I sound like them...but I can't imagine being someone's dad right now. I'm not done being a all.."

Seamus laughs. "Seriously. I didn't know cause you KNOW I would have from the back yard." at least he is laughing. Then he rolls his eyes. "Jesus Owen I thought Logan was the oldest. I'm not gonna get anyone pregnant and I'm not gonna get a disease." he assures him. "AND I'm not done playing lego. Hell I've been thinking how to make REAL buildings. And I had a BLAST with Tristan. Why can't I play lego AND have sex with girls?"

Owen almost loses it laughing at this and then holds up a finger when he regains composure and just says "Yes, just not at the same time, and not in front of Aunt Steph's kid. Don't want Uncle Mikey after you too now." He thinks about the building thing "Do you mean like a to scale model of a real building in lego size or a real sized building made of actual lego?'

Seamus looks scandalized. "That kids only 10!" he protests the irony of both his tone and words lost on himself. Then he looks at Owen like he is an idiot. "I mean like real sized buildings made of steel and glass and concrete, man. Being an architect."

Owen laughs at himself "You WERE talking about Lego...and I was kidding about Tristan. I know you would never. That's cool that Brate...other Adam Brate...the old guy?"

Seamus finally laughs and mock punches Owen, who should know the difference between the real punch and the play punch. "Yea. Him. You know he made the building Vincent lives in? That's COOL." he proclaims. "But I still love Lego." he looks at Owen as if, should he disagree the next punch may be real.

Owen looks contrite "I'm sorry I took a shot at lego on New Year's. You know I love it too. I was just pissed."

Seamus chuckles. "If your little .. L .. wasn't there, I woulda kicked your non-fuckin ass, too. But ... I was supposed to meet Sam ..." he confesses.

Owen looks momentarily annoyed by the threat and his choice of words and frowns "How long did you go out? You could have invited her to New Years..."

Seamus sorts. "Since we started school here." he proclaims. "And seriously? I'm thirteen. She's fifteen? Mom and Dad freaking out enough as it is. And she probably wouldn't have come. I never met HER parents either."

Owen gets quiet "I've never met L's parents either but they work in weird jobs and don't seem to live here. They have like a chimpanzee and stuff. I don't quite know what the deal is. Did you and Sam go places or know...that? You said you felt like she was using you."

Seamus laughs. "A chimp? That sounds cool, man." he shrugs. "No .. I've never been on like a date, if that's what you mean. No. Just ..." he shrugs. "Sex."

Owen cringes "Wasn't that kind of...terrifying? I'm terrified just thinking about it. I mean don't get me wrong it crosses my mind...but still as a fantasy not a reality."

Seamus shrugs and kind of smirks. "There's something about sex that ..... thinking never really took priority for me." he sighs deeply. "She made me feel ... important. And special. And UNIQUE." he sighs in some form of bliss.

Owen thinks about this and then tries to say something comforting "Maybe someday you'll meet someone who makes you feel that way before you even sleep with them...and then the sex part will be all that and more. It doesn't sound like this girl liked you for you. There are other girls Shay...the world is full of them."

Seamus snorts. "Sleep had nothing to do with it." he shrugs. "Obviously. She moves t the other side of the continent." he slaps his knees and stands. "Other fish in the sea! I'm a free man!" he yells. Then he looks at Owen. "Thanks for finding me, Owen." he has a moment of genuine sincerity for his brother. "I ... your right. It's all going to be alright."

Owen gives his brother a small smile and nods "OK." He can't help but see him a little differently now and despite him saying it will be alright Owen has a bit of a nagging sense of dread from everything they've talked about. But that's not what he says to his brother. He wishes L did have that time machine they keep joking about and that he could have Shay back before this move for just one more day. Reaching back to who they were he smack Shay's skates off the seat and makes a run for it "Race you home Shaybus!"

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